Blog

By: Camila Argueta

Finding the right therapist can be a daunting task, but it is an important step in taking care of your mental health. Here are some tips to help you find the right therapist for you:

1. Determine your needs: Before you start your search, it's important to know what you're looking for in a therapist. Are you looking for someone to help you work through a specific issue or do you need ongoing support for a mental health condition? Knowing your needs will help you narrow down your search.
2. Consider your preferences: Think about what you're looking for in a therapist. Do you prefer a therapist of a certain gender or age? Do you want someone who specializes in a specific type of therapy? Are you more comfortable with a therapist who has a certain type of education or training?
3. Research your options: There are many different types of therapists, including licensed counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists. Each type of therapist has a different level of education and training, and each may have a different approach to therapy. Researching your options will help you understand the differences and find the right therapist for you.
4. Get recommendations: Talk to friends and family members about their experiences with therapy. They may be able to provide recommendations for therapists they have found helpful.
5. Check for insurance coverage: Many insurance plans provide coverage for therapy, but the coverage and the types of therapists covered can vary. Before you start your search, check with your insurance provider to see what is covered and if you need to find a therapist who is in-network.
6. Don't be afraid to shop around: Finding the right therapist may take some time, so don't be discouraged if your first few sessions don't feel like the right fit. Remember that it's important to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with and who you can trust, so don't be afraid to shop around until you find someone who is right for you.

​Remember that seeking therapy is a courageous step towards taking care of yourself and your mental health, so don't be afraid to take that step. And if you find the right therapist who can help you, it will be worth all the effort.

By: Camila Argueta

By: Mandi Duncan 

Solving a complicated crossword puzzle feels great. Solving a complex riddle with a group of friends makes you feel on top of the world. Solving the mystery in a movie before the end gives us a boost of confidence. So why does attempting to solve an argument not always end with the same type of reward?
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Unlike the examples above, relationship conflict does not always have one, neat and tidy answer. Sometimes, attempting to solve a conflict might actually be one of the most destructive approaches to take as the first step of action. But if we are not searching for solutions to a conflict, what is our other option? The answer, is this: seek to understand another’s position.

In the Gottman Method, created by Dr. Julie Gottman and Dr. John Gottman, those in relationships are encouraged to seek understanding first rather than attempting to solve a conflict. Through greater understanding, compassion can surface and compromise may be easier to reach. Here are some of the questions that can help understand another’s position on a topic:

1. What are your beliefs/values that are relate to your position?

2. Is there a story or childhood history that relates to your position?

3. What’s your underlying dream about this issue?

4. What would it mean if your request was met?


By understanding another’s position, we attempt to loosen up the tension that comes from being gridlocked in conflict. If we can feel understood and seek to understand another, we may truly be able to move toward a compromise or solution.

By: Camila Argueta

An anxious attachment style is characterized by a strong desire for close relationships, but also a fear of rejection or abandonment. People with this attachment style may have a difficult time trusting others, and may become overly dependent on their romantic partners or close friends. They may also experience feelings of insecurity and anxiety in relationships, and may engage in behaviors such as constantly seeking reassurance or becoming possessive or jealous. This attachment style is thought to develop in childhood as a result of having a caregiver who was inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or neglectful.

An anxious attachment style is a type of attachment pattern that develops in childhood as a result of inconsistent or insecure caregiving from parents or primary caregivers. Children with an anxious attachment style may become overly clingy or demanding of attention, and may become anxious or upset when their caregiver is not present. They may also have difficulty trusting others and may constantly seek reassurance in relationships. Anxious attachment can be treated by therapy and developing healthy communication and trust within relationships.

Dealing with an anxious attachment style can be challenging, but it is possible to make positive changes with the help of therapy and supportive relationships. Here are a few strategies that may be helpful:

1. Seek therapy: A therapist can help you understand and work through the underlying causes of your anxious attachment style, and teach you new coping mechanisms and ways to develop healthy relationships.
2. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help reduce anxiety and improve your ability to regulate your emotions.
3. Learn to trust: Trusting others can be difficult for people with anxious attachment styles, but it is an important step in developing healthy relationships. A therapist can help you work through trust issues and teach you how to build trust in others.
4. Communicate effectively: Being able to express your needs and feelings in a clear and healthy manner is important for all relationships, so working on effective communication is vital.
5. Build a support network: Surrounding yourself with friends and family members who are supportive and understanding can help you feel more secure and less anxious in relationships.

It's important to note that change can take time, be kind to yourself and give it time. Remember that everyone has different journey and you might not be able to change everything in one day.

By: Camila Argueta

By: Mandi Duncan

By: Minerva Paz

As the holiday season is now in full swing, you’ve all maybe had a taste of what the rest of the festivities are going to look like this year. The holidays are always a great time to enjoy friends and family members that you may not have seen much of throughout the year. Connecting and sharing gifts with one another during joyous celebrations is great; but sometimes you must be around those you don’t enjoy or maybe you are experiencing bigger emotions that make it difficult to be around anyone. As much as you may want to simply avoid people it sometimes is not possible.
During this time, I invite you all to do a quick check in with yourself, how are you really feeling about the holidays? Do you feel ready to handle difficult conversations? Are you taking care of yourself during this busy time of the year? There are steps you can take to feel confident in setting boundaries to protect your mental health, when making the choice to attend that dinner party with friends you may have had a falling out with or the relative that does not approve of your lifestyle.

Setting Boundaries
The Why?
Many find that setting boundaries is difficult and awkward, but it doesn’t need to be when you take the time to think about why you are setting this boundary. The intention behind any boundary that you create is to protect your mental health, minimize discomfort, and make the event more enjoyable for yourself and those around you. Take the time to think about why you set a boundary, why is it so important for you to let someone know you don’t want to discuss a topic or won’t be attending their event. 

The When?
When is the best time to let someone know about your boundary? When you feel ready to do so! And when it won’t be detrimental to someone else. Meaning, if you are invited to a party that you absolutely do not want to attend you let the host know well in advance. If you are unable to cancel your attendance to a gathering be prepared to set your boundary the day of. You may feel some anxiety creep up when you share that you don’t want to discuss a topic, so remember your why and how important it is for you to set this boundary.

The How?
The how is often the most difficult part. When letting someone know in advance you won’t be attending their party this can look like giving them a call and saying, “thank you so much for the invitation to your party but unfortunately this year I will not be able to attend, but maybe you and I can just spend some time together soon.” This lets the host know not to expect you, that you appreciate the invitation, that you enjoy their company, but maybe a party is too overwhelming for you right now. If you are setting your boundary the day of it is important that you have someone in your corner to support you, when you maybe say, “sorry that’s not something I feel comfortable discussing…” If the conversation or people you are around begin to cause discomfort you can say something like, “excuse me I just need to step out for a little bit.” This gives you the time and space to take a few deep breaths and rejoin the party when you feel ready. Having someone to support you will provide reassurance of how important it is for you to set this boundary. This also eliminates the feeling of isolation that setting boundaries causes for some and creates a positive experience in your new practice of that setting healthy boundaries.

​The Now
Take the time now to really take care of yourself as the holidays can be very draining mentally, physically, and financially. Boundaries are important to set with others but even more important to set with yourself. During this time stretching yourself to thin and trying to go to all the parties or dinners you are invited to may seem manageable right now. However, if you find that the only way it’s manageable is if you leave work a little earlier one day and make up for it by working later the next day, stay up a little later prepping the night before and maybe skip lunch the next day to make sure you can go buy the gifts you need, you will end up burning out. Plan out your time and really ask yourself what you can handle and how many events it is reasonable to attend or host without straining your mental, physical, and financial health. It is difficult to set boundaries, but you have to start by setting them with yourself and putting your mental health first.

By: Emma Eskildsen

​Although the time-change can lead to confusion and sleep loss for many people, we are approaching the less-disruptive change of “falling back,” which can sometimes help people to catch up on sleep and feel more alert during the day. As pleasant as the extra hour of sleep is, this time of year can be frustrating when it comes to leaving work after the sun sets and missing out on time to spend outside. Whether you need to adjust your evening strolls, or you need to make sure you wake up at the current time, there are certain steps you can take to ease your body out of Daylight Saving time and protect your mental health during the shorter winter days.
 
Sunlight
Getting yourself out in the sun in the morning can be a great way to kick-start this season. Since we “fall back” this time of year, it can be helpful to aim to spend time outside when possible to boost your mood, maintain your circadian rhythm, and combat dreariness that can arise when you don’t see much daylight for too many days in a row. This can also be helpful the day before the time change - spending an extra bit of time moving around outside if the weather permits! 
 
Activity
            Going on a walk during your lunch break, getting in an extra workout over the weekend, or stretching before bed - these are all small examples of how we can care for our bodies while we adjust to the new time. Engaging in a mindfulness or relaxation practice, lighting candles, gentle stretching, and putting away screens an hour or two before bed are ways to emphasize the intentionality of your evening routine to support healthy sleep. This is also a good time to re-evaluate your schedule to make sure you’re able to budget time for exercise. For example, if you typically go on a run after work but don’t feel comfortable running in the dark, it may be helpful to plan your exercise for before work or on your break, if you have time. 
 
Clocks 
To prepare for the change of time, you’ll want to adjust your clocks the evening before we “fall back” to gently introduce your body to the new time & save yourself the trouble the next day. The actual date of the change is November 6th at 2 am. You can also set an alarm for your normal wake-up time on Sunday to help your body adjust and make things a bit easier for the following evenings and mornings. No need to stay up an hour later than you’d want to on Saturday night - your body will thank you for the extra time to rest! 
 
It can be frustrating to have to change your schedule when the sun starts setting earlier than you’d like it to. Being intentional about the use of your time can help soften the blow of shorter days. Remember to treat yourself gently and with kindness as we enter colder months and shorter days.
 

By: Mandi Duncan