Blog

By: Katrin Steinert

“When life throws you lemons make lemonade” but how do we do that? A lot of our instincts when something does not go correctly is to react impulsively with strong emotions. Some situations require us to react emotionally and some require more of our rational brain. In order to help calm our emotional reactions we can employ a skill called IMPROVE. 

Imagery: Transports your mind to a space that makes you feel calm and serene. Visualize imagery that helps soothe your sense and relaxes your muscle’s. Some examples could be your favorite childhood space, beach or even your own room. 

Meaning: Find meaning in a distressing situation can help shift the perspective. By tapping into your values, it will help see the silver lining in a situation that may otherwise feel meaningless. 

Prayer: Prayer does not have to have a religious connotation. The meaning of prayer is connecting with something that is greater than yourself. By focusing on a mantra, image or song can create a sense of peace in the moment. 

Relaxation: Focusing on relaxing the tension in muscles can reduce the pressure build of distress. By reducing the tension in your muscles will help elevate emotional pain. 

One thing at a time: Being mindful is focusing on one task or thought at a time. This can be a powerful tool to slow down the thoughts and worries that are popping up. By letting go of the future worry will allow space to focus on the moment. 

Vacation: Vacation does not mean take an actual trip. A vacation is a brief respite from the monotony of daily life. An example of a vacation can be taking a different walking route, meeting friends or exploring a new part the city you live in. 

Encouragement: Words are very powerful and that includes the words we tell ourselves. By practicing positive self-talk and self-encouragement can help give us the boost we need to take a distressing moment.

By: Ranjita Rao

Have you ever felt manipulated by someone repeatedly? Or maybe, you have a hard time saying “no” to someone in your life because of a fear of rejection and/or abandonment. If this sounds like you, you may struggle with setting healthy boundaries in your life. Boundaries are easier to envision when you think of them like fences around a house. A fence lets everyone know that everything inside of it is private property-- only accessible if invited inside. Personal boundaries can be a little trickier because most of the time, they are not tangible. Personal boundaries consist of both emotional and physical space, and help define which types of interactions, behaviors, and communication are acceptable for you.
Setting healthy boundaries can help build self-esteem, self- respect, and can develop assertive communication. This will not only empower you to make healthy decisions, but will also help you separate your feelings, thoughts and needs from those of others.
 
Here are some tips to help you get started in setting healthier boundaries in your life!
 
Be concise and firm. When setting a boundary, you do not need to justify yourself or apologize for that boundary. Instead, stay calm and be clear, while still holding firm and using as few words as possible to get your point across.
 
Be responsible only for communicating your boundary appropriately. You are only responsible for making sure that your boundary is communicated appropriately. You are not responsible for the other person’s reaction. If you apologize for setting a boundary, you risk sending mixed messages to the other person.
 
Don’t let fear, anxiety, or guilt stand in your way. Many people avoid setting boundaries because of the fear of rejection, abandonment and confrontation. Healthy boundaries not only build your self-esteem and self-respect, but also can reduce your anxiety and empower you to make healthier decisions for yourself.
 
Learn to get in tune with your feelings. If you are feeling angry, frustrated, or resentful, learn how to check in with yourself to figure out why you are feeling that way and what you can do about it. Listen to what you might need, and do it assertively.
 
Distinguish between those who can and cannot respect your boundaries. Not everyone can respect boundaries. While setting healthy boundaries, you learn who will continue to respect them, and who cannot. Eliminate toxic people in your life, especially those who manipulate and abuse your relationship.

by Rachel Thomasian

What makes you unique and special?
One of the ways I help clients gain confidence and self esteem while decreasing symptoms of anxiety and depression is by identifying, tapping into and expressing gratitude for the best parts of themselves. We all have traits that make us uniquely special. By identifying and nurturing these qualities, we can feel a bigger sense of belonging, purpose and exceptionalism all at the same time.
If you're having trouble identifying your strengths, I recommend the VIA Character Strengths and Virtues Classification, which measures 24 strengths across 6 virtues. Learning yours helps you gain a better understanding of your assets. ​Find your signature strength by taking the free survey at ​VIA. 

By Ranjita Rao 

​When we aren’t feeling confident inside, it might seem like nothing is going right on the outside--low self-confidence can send individuals into downward spirals. Self- confidence is deeply intertwined with mental health disorders, such as anxiety and depression, and low self-confidence can even predispose a person to mental illness. While you may feel like you have absolutely no control over the way you feel about yourself, there are actually ways to help improve not only how you are feeling about yourself in the moment, but also, in the long term. 
 
Set Realistic Goals for Yourself
Goals are always great, but it’s important to check in with yourself and see if the goals you’ve set are realistic given the circumstances. For example, if you wanted to build a business, rather than set a timeline to achieve this result by the end of the week, a more realistic approach may be to break this larger goal up into micro goals (i.e. come up with a business plan by the end of the week) in order to set yourself up for success. 
Write Down Affirmations 
Get in the habit of taking a few minutes of your day to write down a couple positive affirmations about yourself. This can be as easy as “I’m a good listener” or “I’m strong and capable”.  Creating this habit will start training your mind to automatically generate positive self-talk. 
Increase Positive Self-Talk
Do you find yourself engaging in a lot of negative self-talk? “I can’t do that” or “I’m not capable” are some examples of what negative self-talk can sound like. When you replace these statements with more positive ones like “I’m trying my hardest and that’s what matters!”, your self-esteem will naturally increase. 
Get Enough Sleep 
Do you ever notice that when you don’t get enough sleep, you’re more inclined to feel down about yourself? Getting proper sleep is important for our bodies and our minds, so that we can feel recharged and energized. When sleep is affected, it’s much more likely that your performance during the day is affected as well, which can significantly lower your self- confidence. 
Engage in Self-Care 
Block out some time every day (even if it’s just fifteen minutes) to do something for yourself. The idea behind this one is that, when do something to take care of yourself, you remind yourself that your needs are important, which reinforces your self-confidence.